Obviously, that means that all these ideas belong to me?? And I definitely, definitely, definitely haven’t taken these from people on the internet.
(I mean, if you want to make these into real things then you can,
just give me 20% of the income. I’d actually love to see them happen?)
Anyways, these inventions basically solve all of the bookworm problems– such as:
- having warped pages and crying because they’re so difficult to straighten out
- when it’s dark and you want to read but it’s dark so you can’t obviously
- when you lose your page number and then accidentally spoil yourself and then cry
- having some sticker mark on the top of your book cover and having to just stare at it and feel it and feeling the horrible weight of shame
- not having a book and crying
- crying. did I mention crying yet?? I don’t think I have.
glow-in-the-dark inked pages
Hey, hey, hey.
Have you ever wanted to read a book…
but you procrastinate but it’s dark out and you don’t want to have glasses?
That problem is solved with…
glow in the dark inked pages!
Honestly, glow-in-the-dark inked pages would be a) SO FREAKING COOL, b) hahaha YOU CAN READ IN THE DARK??? and c) it’s not as annoying as having a freaking flashlight and trying to hold it in a way that your hand doesn’t get tired but it hits the pages exactly right*.
*I’m pretty sure finding the perfect position for a flashlight is 100% impossible.
DOES ANYONE ELSE READ IN THE SHOWER??
Sometimes I try to read while showering but then you’re holding the book with your hands and you can’t shampoo yourself or anything and so you’re just standing in your shower on the far end for thirty minutes, not doing anything.
Obviously, I can take very long showers.
And even if you don’t take showers at all, waterproof pages would be 87% useful because hello? You’ll be crying over the book.
So basically, Six of Crows is a fantastic book to have waterproof pages on. (me @ all the publishers)
But I mean, you can also do other things if your book is completely waterproof!
- fishing, because fishing is basically 99% waiting and the other 1% is hiding because the fish is so gross
- swimming, swimming + reading a book = 10/10 afterschool activity. I mean, you might flail because your arms are occupied but whatever I flail on land too.
- drinking stuff, obviously if you drink something you might spill it onto your book? OH WAIT IT’S WATERPROOF HAHAHA
- washing the dishes, while your hands are in the water you can be holding a book + the dishes at the same time obviously
- having a water gun/balloon fight, reading a book while everyone is throwing stuff at you will be a FUN and COOL activity because you’ll be practicing your
salmon skin rollunagi.
DID I JUST THROW A FRIENDS REFERENCE IN THERE?? *points to myself* What a genius I am.
bookmarks that you don’t lose
Okay, let’s be real here, who even regularly uses bookmarks?
Why don’t you be a cool and edgy reader like me, and try to memorize your page number and risk spoiling yourself!!!1!
Seriously, where do all of my bookmarks even go? Because hahaha I DON’T KNOW. Does the book eat them or something. Do they disappear in the laundry machine? Did the fairies whisk them away?
Obviously, we need some sort of remote controlled bookmark that flies to your hand whenever you press a button that says Accio.
#REFERENCES I AM MAKING SO MANY OF THEM TODAY I CAN’T EVEN.
pages that never warp
I mean, sure, you could also classify this under “waterproof pages” but
I need more bullet points in specific, they don’t necessarily have to be waterproof.
They just have to be stiff enough, yet bendy, that they never warp and cause me to shove them under 14 books in an attempt to get them straight again.
Ever heard of scented candles?
Of course you have.
Now take scented bookish candles + pages and then take out the actual CANDLE part and you just get… smells + pages.
Obviously this is a real life necessity, because if a food scene is described during a book I need to be even more hungry than I already am.
But imagine, the book is describing being in a room filled with incense, and then you take a breath, and you actually… smell it. Wouldn’t that be so freaking fantastic. (Yes, it would.)
magical book that immediately turns into a book you want to read
“But Julianna. THIS CAN’T BE AN INVENTION-”
Shhhhh, yes it can. Just in the far, far future. So what I’m basically doing is plotting out the inventions of 3126.
I mean, yes I said magical, but who knows?? MAYBE WE’LL HAVE INVENTED MAGIC IN THE 3000s.
Anyways, this book would just be a normal, stereotypical book. But when you touch it, the pages inside immediately transform into a book you want to read.
So it’s like an ebook, but physical. Or as I’d like to say, a physical digital book.
Am I not an inventor/genius/smart person, because LOOK AT ALL OF THE IDEAS THAT COULD DEFINITELY CHANGE THE BOOK INDUSTRY SOMEWHAT.
Honestly, if publishers actually made scented books or waterproof books or glow-in-the-dark books, I would 11/10 buy that because that sounds so cool.
Do YOU want any of these inventions? Will you invent any of these inventions for me? Please do. What other inventions would you want? Do you constantly cry over books? Do you read in the shower?