GUESS WHO’S BACK. BACK AGAIN. (me) (unfortunately for you) // Hiatus Recap

*turns around extravagantly* oh… didn’t see you there.

(why am I like this)

Hi friends! I’m back. And I’m ready (kind of?) to actually start blogging. I also need to kind of catch up on some reviews of books that I need to read.


Anyways, I kind of want to go over some of the things that happened over my hiatus of writing posts because a lot in my life has changed, and I’m not 100% sure if that’ll mean that my writing style will change too?




my mental health

So, one thing that I’ve noticed is that whenever I go through more intense bouts of depression… I want to write posts more. Writing posts is kind of like my therapy, I guess? And I haven’t written any posts lately, because I’ve actually been happy (shaken) and my mental health has been so much better than it has before.

For example, around two years ago, my depression really began to take its hold in me and that’s when I really started to write posts. I would try to write posts every day and I wanted to post every day? (Which, um, I didn’t do.)

As I became more integrated in the book blogging community, I… became happier. I became more happy with myself, and I’m so glad to all of the friends that I’ve made that to this day I still keep in contact with often!!! (!!!)

Anyways, I think that my depression has honestly really gone away this year, and I’m so satisfied with myself (well somewhat) but I really still want to keep blogging.

I was able to leave an extremely toxic environment last year, and while it was really hard, I’m honestly in so much of a better place than I was before and I’m lowkey kind of still shocked that I’m still here and have such a good support group.

But instead of blogging from a place of depression, I’ll be blogging from a place of happiness?????

(like zuko w his firebending skills)

So that’s good. *finger guns aggressively*


shows/movies/other entertainment

I started watching The Good Place and let me tell you: CHIDI is amazing and I literally can relate to him so much. I am so indecisive; if I’m with a friend and we’re trying to decide where to go I’ll say “oh wherever you want” but the thing is THEY ALSO DON’T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE so we’re just walking aimlessly for ten minutes until I gather the guts to decide where to go!

Eleanor is also amazing and her character is just hilarious? She’s so unapologetically herself (and rude at times) and her growth over the course of the show is just amazing.

  • The Hate U Give  5/5
  • To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before  3/5
  • Crazy Rich Asians  3/5

It’s so ironic that the two movies that have East Asian representation literally were so bland to me, but I just… expected so much more? I expected my soul to cry? But there was like, no crying of me and I’m disappointed.

However! These movies were pretty pivotal and important steps in increasing (East) Asian representation in mainstream movies, and I really appreciate their wide popularity/acclaim.

(Also the actors’ Chinese in Crazy Rich Asians is so terrible I cringed so hard bye.)

THE HATE U GIVE WAS SUCH AN AMAZING MOVIE THOUGH. I love Starr soooo much, and Amandla’s portrayal of her was just amazing. The narration was done so well and I was so emotional during the movie ahhhh.

Anyways, some movies that I really want to see are Bird Box (I know), Escape Room,* Into the Spiderverse (!!!!!!!!!), Dumplin’, and ALL OF THE MARVEL MOVIES THAT ARE RELEASING THIS YEAR.

*I actually used to hate horror so much and I wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but now I actually enjoy watching horror movies and I can stand the fright?? Kind of? Whenever a scary scene happens I just pull up slime videos on my phone lmaoodiv1.1

other things I want to mention in this post but they’re too small to create their own headings

  •  this new blog I found that’s kind of hilarious

This blog called Wait but Why is a life blog (?) or just a very vague blog that has such a fun narration that I love to read. I recommend this, this, and this post. This is literally what Buzzfeed wishes it was.

  • I’m going clubbing every night now

Every night… at Club Penguin. Actually though, there are reboots of Club Penguin and who’s obsessed? Me and 30% of my grade.

edit (three weeks later): So like. I don’t really go on Club Penguin that often anymore.

  • bookstagram? who? me?

Ah. Bookstagram. That one platform that’s literally so hard to maintain omg. So… I honestly don’t know if I’m going to continue my bookstagram? I do have photos that I still haven’t posted yet, but also *vaguely gestures* it’s hard, ok.

  • style!!!

Last year, whenever I woke up in the morning, I would just pick whatever clothes that were closest to me to wear and hope that I looked mildly okay. But now. Now is much better. I mildly choose what clothes to wear the night before. It’s a 10/10 upgrade.

Also, I really want to go thrifting!!

  • bullet journaling aaaah

Soooo I started doing a bullet journal and I’m so excited to update it with ideas & pictures for 2019 and I actually messed up the last 70% of the numbering for January so that was…. cool.

would add in some pictures here but my bullet journal is honestly not even that aesthetic and transferring a picture from my phone to my computer is too much work.*

And now because of my bullet journals, I really want cute stickers and aesthetic pictures to add in because just *heart eyes* @ all of the studygrams. I really want to use 2019 to practice with my bullet journal and I’m not going to focus too hard on making it perfect! #loveyourself

*I know it only takes like. two minutes. but honestly the whole image uploading system on WordPress isn’t my favorite and also for some reason it takes so long for me to send a photo to my computer.

  • snow camp!!

I went to a trip during the holiday break and it was honestly so much fun and I reconnected with some people and aaaah! Just thinking on it makes me feel so wholesome and happy :’)

I stayed there for four days and three days and our “cottages” (rooms) were cozy and it was so nice. ALSO THE FOOD THERE WAS TASTY BUT ALSO IT WAS NOT VERY SUITABLE FOR STOMACHS THAT’S ALL I’M GOING TO SAY.


what I’m hoping to do!!

Well, I seriously need to post my review of Ignite the Stars here (which I loved sjkdjs). Besides that, um. *camera zooms in on my face as I’m clearly at a loss for words* well. so. blog? I guess?

I’m not entirely sure what to blog about, though, because I’ve been on a READING SLUMP FOR THE PAST THREE (SIX) MONTHS.

It’s… actually kind of terrible and I really want to just absorb myself into a good book but if it doesn’t grab my attention within the first chapter I just leave?

(edit like three weeks after: uhhh so it turned out that I ended up reading a couple of books but THAT DOESN’T COUNT OKAY.)

Anyways, I want to start reading regularly and catch up on arcs and of course, I want to recap my 2018! Here are some posts that I plan on posting in January (yes it’s a month late I’m so sorry everyone):

  • just like last year, a “smol recap of every single month of 2018”
  • some highlights and some “recessions” of 2018
  • my reading statistics!
  • my favorites!!! and also the most disappointing ones
  • goals for 2019 ❤
  • maybe I’ll finally do the q&a that I promised since uhhhh *checks calendar* five months ago? I’M ACTUALLY SO SORRY GUYS. WHY HAVEN’T ALL OF YOU UNFOLLOWED. I literally get so impatient sometimes and I don’t deserve all of you!!!!

tell me your thoughts 2

what did you all do over the holiday break, if you had one? what happened while I was gone? did you miss me? (obviously yes) have you been on a reading slump? do you have a bullet journal?



  1. (take a shot (of water) every time i say “cool” or “also” in this comment)

    i mean im kidding hi! ur back! I’ve MISSED YOUR POSTS. and honestly, i hope ur actually BACK and not going to disappear a month later. (i mean i do the same with blogging but i never say im gonna stay soooo)

    birdbox is good but the ending is disappointing? and it’s not THAT scary tbh?? like it was really intense at some points but i didn’t feel SCARED by any of it lol

    also, the snow camp sounds so fun all i did was be boring. also, thank you for introducing me to wait but why it looks REALLY cool!! and i got scared when u said u go clubbing every night and i stan you using club penguin. ALSO, I WANNA SEE UR BULLET JOURNAL send me pictures pls. even if it’s ugly. which i’m sure it won’t be.

    also, i support you blogging OUT OF HAPPINESS that’s good! i hope that means we’ll be getting some really cool posts but i mean, pfft, all your posts are cool. i’m gonna answer ur questions bc im so nice.

    what did you all do over the holiday break, if you had one? well yes, i had a break and it was nice. i did a sprinkle of reading and writing blog posts and blog hopping. and i went to a cool restaurant and was…cool.

    what happened while I was gone? i mean dick soap. sorry. idk not much?? i am also a dead penguin who lives under a rock.

    did you miss me? (obviously yes) –? hmmmmmm

    have you been on a reading slump? –> noooo not really?! i don’t think so. I HAVE MUSE OF NIGHTMARES FROM THE LIBRARY AND I JUST STARTED IT AND IM REALLY EXCITED.

    do you have a bullet journal? –> i have one but i never use it oops.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LISTEN YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS OKAY 😦 but i hopE i’m back for like. forever? Also I WILL take a shot of water every time, thank you for helping me stay hydrated ❤



      idek what I'm going to post after I'm done with the whole 2018 wrap-up posts because i am UNORIGINAL SJKDJ


      also I remember you posted about your bullet journal!! like on your old blog I thinkkkk YOU SHOULD USE IT. if you want to

      Liked by 1 person


    okay but did you get extremely hilarious during your hiatus or were you always this funny?? 🤔🤔 YOU NEED TO WATCH DUMPLIN (i scream even though i barely watch movies)

    YOU STARTED BULLET JOURNALING??? AAAAAA i can’t wait to see your journal! im sure its so fancy and organized. i was really good with mine for the first few months but as of now, im using january’s spread and i havent even inked it out entirely :)))))) it’s all going great

    OKAY IM SERIOUSLY EXCITED that you’re back and i’m eagerly awaiting all your new posts bc !!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person



      Okay um. listen my bullet journal is actually terrible and I don’t even do that fancy “inking out” that you just mentioned so. MY SISTER GAVE MY BULLET JOURNAL A GLO UP THO SO MAYBE I’LL POST PICTURES OF THAT.


  3. Yay so glad to have your posts back in my reader! I’m glad that things are getting better and that you’re feeling more okay now, and am blogging out of happiness :))) I’m so glad you started bullet journaling, and I hope you enjoy it! I would totally be down to see your bujo uwu

    Oh my god I need to get myself together and watch the Hate U Give, I wish CRA and TATBILB worked better for you but oh well – I personally really enjoyed both, but completely agree with what you had to say about it being a breakthrough for Asian rep (Southeast and East Asian respectively).

    I’m also so happy you loved the Good Place! I also really enjoy it myself, because hello Michael Schur. Speaking of which, do you watch Brooklyn 99? (I feel like I should know the answer to this but I clearly don’t because I’m dumb lol)

    Anyway, since I’m going on a tangent, I can’t wait to see your future posts and to interact more, hope you had a great new year and a great 2019! Best of luck with breaking your reading slump :))

    Liked by 1 person


      YES. PLEASE WATCH THE HATE U GIVE IT IS SO AMAZING and I am so surprised at myself for not enjoying CRA and TATBILB but!!! I know everyone else loved it so I’m so happy that they’re a success!!

      YES MICHAEL SCHUR IS SO AMAZING. Also, I do watch b99 and I’m unbelievably excited for the new season ❤

      I hope you have an amazing 2019 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. OMOOO! Same with me about horror movies!! I am addicted now I guess? I mean I avoided watching horror movies like the plague and now nothing phases me anymore. I am just super duper weird!
    Anyway, I welcome back to the blogosphere. I actually have been pretty absent myself. Here’s to a wonderful 2019! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RIGHT? I mean, I still scare myself by convincing myself that there are killers in my room / following me around FOR SOME REASON but when I’m watching a movie? I’m super aware that it’s fake and not real.

      You should start blogging againnnnn ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. AHHHH HELLO IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU IN MY READER HELLO ❤ I'm so glad to hear you're better and blogging from a place of happiness, that's all that matters really, happiness and that you're feeling good and ahh, I'm just really happy right now ❤
    I'm sorry you were disappointed by Crazy Rich Asians and To All The Boys, but happy you loved THUG! The movie isn't even released in my country yet, so…. I haven't seen it and don't even ask I AM VERY MAD AND SAD ABOUT IT ahah.
    I hope you'll have a brilliant 2019 and looking forward to seeing you here more often ❤ take care of yourself! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Welcome back! I can’t wait to see your next posts!❤️

    I tried starting a bullet journal but I just couldn’t keep up with it! I felt so inspired by aesthetic pictures of people’s bullet journals on Instagram and Pinterest, but my pages never turned out as beautiful as they were online! I also prefer using my school agenda to keep track of schoolwork and my phone calendar for social events, so there’s that too. I would love to get some inspiration from you to get myself going again!☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg thank you 😭😭

      Hoonestly, my bullet journal… is hardly aesthetic, and there’s literally like two pages that I’m proud of (and my sister did those!) It’s really simplistic and I’m trying to plan it out for the month of March so that I can make my section for March as aesthetic as I can? I really want to start using my phone’s calendar for social events, but I never update it as much as I should!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. so hello, hi. i’m new here, and i probably haven’t been following since your hiatus??? so lol hey there. *awkward wave*
    first of all WHAT IS UP WITH THIS NEW WORDPRESS POST FORMATTING?? BLOCKS?? what are they thinking?? 🤨 smh
    secondly, what’s your bookstagram handle? i’m not sure if i’m already following or not, but just to make sure! i just joined in november and it’s been like an explosion of notifications. and commenting on other people’s stuff is even harder oof.
    anyway YAY!! it’s great to see you back on the blog and writing again! definitely looking forward to your new posts 🤗

    Liked by 1 person


      Also, yes! I specifically hate blocks which is… weird to hate but they just FRUSTRATE ME because why do they need to be in separate blocks? literally what is the point

      My bookstagram handle is paperblots! (what’s yours?) Honestly how does one even. network on Instagram. IT’S HARD. Also I don’t post often lmaoo


  8. Ahh, welcome back! I was so excited to see this post, and my excitement only increased when I read it.☺️I’m so glad that your mental health has been a lot better, and you’re blogging from a place of happiness, that’s amazing! I can’t wait to see all your future posts and I hope you have a wonderful 2019. Also I too am very confused by the wordpress editor?? I switched back to the old one because I’m scared of the block format.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Welcome back, love! You know I’m always sending you all the light and love in the world no matter how busy either of us is! But… gosh, I’m just so damn blessed that 2018 gave me your friendship! I hope 2019 is filled with buddy reads and you making me 24/7 like you always do! Basically… I’m just here screaming that you are such a blessing, and I miss you, and I love you! 💗xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. WELCOME BACK, of course I missed you! ❤️ I need to read and watch crazy rich asians ahh I’ve heard they have to edit the chinese in studio because the actors can’t do inflections/tones lmao. Yes I’ve had a bujo since start of ‘18 and I really love it and use it daily but not for any big things? Like I track habits and monthly reading as well as any big events but that’s about it haha (why can’t I be aesthetic like everyone on Instagram and YouTube). Okay but omg club penguin I remember as a child begging my parents for a membership bc my friend had one and I finally got it for one month but like honestly wasted it see this is when my “asking for things I don’t have, eventually getting them and then moving on” started (did I just expose myself oops). I did more reading than I have done all year in December tbh which was really great! I can’t wait to read more of your new posts ahh and I get it about the blogging from a sad place vs. happy? Oddly I used to feel the same but now I’m a lot happier and I feel like my posts have changed so much. This is probably ridiculously long oops but yeah

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I LOVE THIS COMMENT. THANK YOU SO MUCH, CAS! Oh, I totally didn’t know that about CRA, that’s pretty interesting and makes a ton of sense. Oooooh my bullet journal is…. NOT AESTHETIC at ALL, I promise you that. Let’s both have simple bullet journals together!

      I totally wanted a membership as a child but I never got one and now I’m so happy that I never got them because the reboot doesn’t even have a membership system anymore ayyyy. I’m so proud of you and that you did reading in December!! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. HI i’m going to try not to be a sap because i hate you but u know i’m really happy ur blogging again AND THAT UR HAPPY!!! i hope ur able to stick to blogging from a happy place because that’s very good!!!

    i feel like i could theoretically do bullet journaling and be decent at it but also it’s just so much woRK and i suck at keeping up daily habits so probably wouldn’t work out. also i want to go thrifting too !! and i also want to buy mom jeans to be trendy vintage lmao

    thank god u stopped club penguin <33

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yeah!!! so like it’s changed and i’m not happy anymore!! lol!!! but whatever!!!

      also DO A BULLET JOURNAL BINCH!!! I SUCK AT IT TOO BUT LIKE???? WHATEVER when 🙂 we 🙂 meet 🙂 up 🙂 in 🙂 the 🙂 future 🙂 let’s go thrifting together!!

      Liked by 1 person

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