GUESS WHO’S BACK. BACK AGAIN. (me) (unfortunately for you) // Hiatus Recap

*turns around extravagantly* oh… didn’t see you there.

(why am I like this)

Hi friends! I’m back. And I’m ready (kind of?) to actually start blogging. I also need to kind of catch up on some reviews of books that I need to read.

(ALSO I JUST SAW THAT WORDPRESS HAS A NEW EDITING FORMAT. UM. I LITERALLY HATE THIS BLOCK FORMAT OF WRITING SO MUCH OMG.)

Anyways, I kind of want to go over some of the things that happened over my hiatus of writing posts because a lot in my life has changed, and I’m not 100% sure if that’ll mean that my writing style will change too?

#probablytho

#growth

my mental health

So, one thing that I’ve noticed is that whenever I go through more intense bouts of depression… I want to write posts more. Writing posts is kind of like my therapy, I guess? And I haven’t written any posts lately, because I’ve actually been happy (shaken) and my mental health has been so much better than it has before.

For example, around two years ago, my depression really began to take its hold in me and that’s when I really started to write posts. I would try to write posts every day and I wanted to post every day? (Which, um, I didn’t do.)

As I became more integrated in the book blogging community, I… became happier. I became more happy with myself, and I’m so glad to all of the friends that I’ve made that to this day I still keep in contact with often!!! (!!!)

Anyways, I think that my depression has honestly really gone away this year, and I’m so satisfied with myself (well somewhat) but I really still want to keep blogging.

I was able to leave an extremely toxic environment last year, and while it was really hard, I’m honestly in so much of a better place than I was before and I’m lowkey kind of still shocked that I’m still here and have such a good support group.

But instead of blogging from a place of depression, I’ll be blogging from a place of happiness?????

(like zuko w his firebending skills)

So that’s good. *finger guns aggressively*

shows/movies/other entertainment

I started watching The Good Place and let me tell you: CHIDI is amazing and I literally can relate to him so much. I am so indecisive; if I’m with a friend and we’re trying to decide where to go I’ll say “oh wherever you want” but the thing is THEY ALSO DON’T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE so we’re just walking aimlessly for ten minutes until I gather the guts to decide where to go!

Eleanor is also amazing and her character is just hilarious? She’s so unapologetically herself (and rude at times) and her growth over the course of the show is just amazing.

• The Hate U Give  5/5
• To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before  3/5
• Crazy Rich Asians  3/5

It’s so ironic that the two movies that have East Asian representation literally were so bland to me, but I just… expected so much more? I expected my soul to cry? But there was like, no crying of me and I’m disappointed.

However! These movies were pretty pivotal and important steps in increasing (East) Asian representation in mainstream movies, and I really appreciate their wide popularity/acclaim.

(Also the actors’ Chinese in Crazy Rich Asians is so terrible I cringed so hard bye.)

THE HATE U GIVE WAS SUCH AN AMAZING MOVIE THOUGH. I love Starr soooo much, and Amandla’s portrayal of her was just amazing. The narration was done so well and I was so emotional during the movie ahhhh.

Anyways, some movies that I really want to see are Bird Box (I know), Escape Room,* Into the Spiderverse (!!!!!!!!!), Dumplin’, and ALL OF THE MARVEL MOVIES THAT ARE RELEASING THIS YEAR.

*I actually used to hate horror so much and I wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but now I actually enjoy watching horror movies and I can stand the fright?? Kind of? Whenever a scary scene happens I just pull up slime videos on my phone lmaoo

other things I want to mention in this post but they’re too small to create their own headings

•  this new blog I found that’s kind of hilarious

This blog called Wait but Why is a life blog (?) or just a very vague blog that has such a fun narration that I love to read. I recommend this, this, and this post. This is literally what Buzzfeed wishes it was.

• I’m going clubbing every night now

Every night… at Club Penguin. Actually though, there are reboots of Club Penguin and who’s obsessed? Me and 30% of my grade.

edit (three weeks later): So like. I don’t really go on Club Penguin that often anymore.

• bookstagram? who? me?

Ah. Bookstagram. That one platform that’s literally so hard to maintain omg. So… I honestly don’t know if I’m going to continue my bookstagram? I do have photos that I still haven’t posted yet, but also *vaguely gestures* it’s hard, ok.

• style!!!

Last year, whenever I woke up in the morning, I would just pick whatever clothes that were closest to me to wear and hope that I looked mildly okay. But now. Now is much better. I mildly choose what clothes to wear the night before. It’s a 10/10 upgrade.

Also, I really want to go thrifting!!

• bullet journaling aaaah

Soooo I started doing a bullet journal and I’m so excited to update it with ideas & pictures for 2019 and I actually messed up the last 70% of the numbering for January so that was…. cool.

I would add in some pictures here but my bullet journal is honestly not even that aesthetic and transferring a picture from my phone to my computer is too much work.*

And now because of my bullet journals, I really want cute stickers and aesthetic pictures to add in because just *heart eyes* @ all of the studygrams. I really want to use 2019 to practice with my bullet journal and I’m not going to focus too hard on making it perfect! #loveyourself

*I know it only takes like. two minutes. but honestly the whole image uploading system on WordPress isn’t my favorite and also for some reason it takes so long for me to send a photo to my computer.

• snow camp!!

I went to a trip during the holiday break and it was honestly so much fun and I reconnected with some people and aaaah! Just thinking on it makes me feel so wholesome and happy :’)

I stayed there for four days and three days and our “cottages” (rooms) were cozy and it was so nice. ALSO THE FOOD THERE WAS TASTY BUT ALSO IT WAS NOT VERY SUITABLE FOR STOMACHS THAT’S ALL I’M GOING TO SAY.

what I’m hoping to do!!

Well, I seriously need to post my review of Ignite the Stars here (which I loved sjkdjs). Besides that, um. *camera zooms in on my face as I’m clearly at a loss for words* well. so. blog? I guess?

I’m not entirely sure what to blog about, though, because I’ve been on a READING SLUMP FOR THE PAST THREE (SIX) MONTHS.

It’s… actually kind of terrible and I really want to just absorb myself into a good book but if it doesn’t grab my attention within the first chapter I just leave?

(edit like three weeks after: uhhh so it turned out that I ended up reading a couple of books but THAT DOESN’T COUNT OKAY.)

Anyways, I want to start reading regularly and catch up on arcs and of course, I want to recap my 2018! Here are some posts that I plan on posting in January (yes it’s a month late I’m so sorry everyone):

• just like last year, a “smol recap of every single month of 2018”
• some highlights and some “recessions” of 2018
• my reading statistics!
• my favorites!!! and also the most disappointing ones
• goals for 2019 ❤
• maybe I’ll finally do the q&a that I promised since uhhhh *checks calendar* five months ago? I’M ACTUALLY SO SORRY GUYS. WHY HAVEN’T ALL OF YOU UNFOLLOWED. I literally get so impatient sometimes and I don’t deserve all of you!!!!

what did you all do over the holiday break, if you had one? what happened while I was gone? did you miss me? (obviously yes) have you been on a reading slump? do you have a bullet journal?